you grabbed my face with one hand
and held the red flower i gave you
in the other
as we kissed you held them
tighter
like you were holding my heart
my cranberry heart
and the way the juice dripped,
the sweet, red juice and how it was yours to drink up
and oh, how you drank up.
but when you pulled away and let go
only a crumpled crimson mess remained
of the flower and of my bitter heart.

we lay there like moving statues,
so cold, eyes so hard

and though we were touching, we didn't
feel anything
at all.

if my lips were eyes then surely your mouth would be their lids
you would fall over me whenever i got tired
whenever i didn't have enough energy to face the world
or the people in it
and everything would become blurry like a dream
like the center of a cloud like the imprint of light
in darkness

what is red and white with black all over?
our hearts poured out on the bedsheets
my hair all over your skin

i sat down here
because i wanted to write
something beautiful something true
something in me something you

i will not put our verbs in past tense.
i will say that i loved you.
i will not deny a future between us,
however impossible one may seem.

you are my asylum and you are my sanctuary. you are the place i go to when i feel crazy and afraid.

a fly on the hotdog bun of you.
that is what i want to be

(:

blah blah blah new layout because i'm thinking i may start to use this livejournal for more than just writing shitty things. so i figured it should atleast look nice!

yesterday i went downtown with nikia and yasmin. it was fun. we had some interesting encounters, too! i love people downtown so much. there was a thirty-something year-old-woman talking about her "titties" and a man who totally scammed us into giving him two bucks and some cents. we ate at cosi and it was all kinds of delicious (as always). i don't know what i would do without them two. in fact, i'm hanging out with them today as well.. along with a few other people that i'm not sure if i'm happy to see or not...


we are so cute.

words fly off of my fingers like birds off branches

the arc of my back
the texture of your skin
together we have built a beautiful house.

when baby teeth fall out and leaves fall down
and his love for you falls away
remember that something new will grow in

(eventually)